The Cosmic Strategy for Checking Out

Alright, let’s talk about something really cheery today, shall we? Death…. More specifically, the mystical, idea that we all have a few strategically placed “exit points” in life—moments where we can say, “Right, I’m done,” and just… you know… leave. But wait, it’s not as simple as tripping over the cat and going poof. Oh no, apparently, our souls have got a game plan. We’ve scheduled a few of these exit points like some divine dentist appointments. Just in case we fancy clocking out early.

It’s like life’s got these pre-set pauses where we can bail if we’re fed up. Had enough of Monday morning traffic? Is your cat giving you attitude? Well, it’s alright, because your soul already packed you an exit strategy.

What are Exit Points Anyway?

Exit points, in the cosmic playbook, are moments where your soul has the option to peace out of this earthly experience. Think of it like your soul’s way of saying, “Alright, do I want to keep playing this game, or am I ready to rage-quit?” Most people apparently get a handful of these moments, and they happen at significant junctions in life—illness, accidents, near-misses, or that time you made a sandwich so bad it could’ve been fatal.

But before you think, “Oh, fantastic, I can choose when I leave,” it’s not exactly conscious. According to psychics, mediums, and people who spend a lot more time in meditation than any of us, these points are agreed upon before you’re born. Yeah, apparently, there’s some kind of soul board meeting where you go, “Alright, I’ll try to live till 85, but if things get rough at 42, I want the option to tap out.”

So, Why Do We Have These Exit Points?

Well, it’s a bit of a cosmic ‘get out of jail free’ card. The belief is that life is an experience for your soul to learn, grow, and try not to binge-watch Netflix too much. But if the going gets too tough or if your soul has learned what it needed from this round of human Monopoly, you can just say, “Cheers, I’m off.”

According to the spiritual grapevine, having these exit points gives the soul flexibility. You know, in case Earth isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe we overestimated how much fun it would be to “experience the human condition.” Because, let’s be honest, we all have days where the idea of living another few decades sounds like the worst sequel ever made.

Real-Life Exit Point Scenarios… Allegedly

Now, psychics love this idea—mainly because it helps them explain why someone had a near-death experience and then just… didn’t die. It’s like the cosmic version of, “Whoops, false alarm.”

Take Sylvia Browne, for example, the late (and let’s say controversial) psychic who claimed that most people have up to five exit points. According to her, these moments could be anything from serious illness to accidents that we miraculously survive. She believed it’s the soul’s way of saying, “Nah, not today,” and then pulling back from the brink like it’s a magic trick.

Then there’s James Van Praagh, another psychic medium, who claims that he’s seen souls “choose” to leave during certain moments because their work here is done. Apparently, some people are overachievers in the cosmic school and decide to head out early after nailing the curriculum.

And, of course, there’s Allison Dubois, the medium who inspired the TV show Medium. She talks about people having near-death experiences that seem like brushes with death but are really just “exit points” the soul ultimately decided not to take. Like saying, “Eh, I’ll stay for the dessert.”

How These Exit Points Make Life a Little Spicier

Think about it: we all go through life thinking we’re in control—until we aren’t. Exit points give life that extra bit of suspense. You’re walking down the street, minding your own business, and suddenly a piano falls from a building. But, at the last second, it just barely misses you. Congratulations, mate, you’ve just dodged an exit point. The soul high-fives you from the other side, probably.

And don’t get me started on people who’ve been in accidents and walked away unscathed like they’ve got some secret cheat code. Turns out, they’ve just brushed past one of these cosmic exit points as if life was allowing them to opt out. But no, they’ve got more work to do. More sandwiches to make. More taxes to pay.

Are We Really in Charge?

Here’s the kicker. We like to think we’ve got control over our lives, right? But what if our souls have already pre-scheduled these “out” moments, and we’re just along for the ride? It’s like planning a holiday with the option to book an early flight home if things get too mental. “Oh, the weather’s rubbish in Cancun? Better take the soul exit and head back to the divine realm.”

In reality, this idea can be quite comforting—knowing that no matter how tough things get, your soul has got a plan. And, hey, you might have already dodged a few of these exits without even knowing it. You could’ve quit the cosmic game, but instead, you’re here, reading this. Lucky you.

Life’s a Cosmic Game of Chicken

So, exit points—are they real? Are they just a nice way to explain why your mate survived a skydiving mishap? Who knows? But if they are real, it makes life feel like a bit of a cosmic game of chicken. We all have a few moments where we can hit the eject button, but for now, we’re sticking around, dodging pianos, eating bad sandwiches, and occasionally wondering what the heck we signed up for.

I don’t know about you, but I’m hoping my exit points are well-spaced out… preferably long after I’ve finished this pint.

References:

Sylvia Browne, Life on the Other Side: A Psychic’s Tour of the Afterlife
James Van Praagh, Talking to Heaven: A Medium’s Message of Life After Death
Allison Dubois, Don’t Kiss Them Goodbye

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